Hello Faithful Readers. I hate to do this to you, it mixes people up and jumbles up their brain but I am taking a break from the writing of "Duumshit" for a while.
Do not fear however! For I am going to stop blogging! I am merely moving to a different blog for the time being. --> http://encounteringmyself.blogspot.com/
I will be in Italy for the next three months and in an effort to encapsulate my experiences, I have made a separate, all Italy, all the time, blog. --> http://encounteringmyself.blogspot.com/
I will blog on "Duumshit" every once in a while, but if you want regularity, check out "Encountering Myself" at --> http://encounteringmyself.blogspot.com/
Read on! --> http://encounteringmyself.blogspot.com/
Did you get that? --> http://encounteringmyself.blogspot.com/
Okay, just making sure ;)
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
I'm Not Dead, Probably
Sorry that it has been a while since I last wrote. It's the end of the quarter and subsequently chaos has ensued. Last week I wrote a term paper, this week I have two finals, and next week I have another final and move out of my dorm room and go back to the Bay Area. At least for a little bit. I am studying abroad in Italy for three months, right after spring break. I just have to survive til next Wednesday when I leave Seattle.
It's weird to think that I won't be in Seattle for the next six and a half months. Kind of crazy, especially given the fact that a couple Seattle-oriented things have to happen between then and now, while I'm gone. Like find a roommate or roommates and a place to live for next year. And I have to apply to the honors program for sociology. And I have to register for fall quarter classes. It's funny how things don't just magically stop when you are gone. Well, not exactly funny.
In the meantime I am walking along the razor's edge of sanity. I'm pretty good at juggling lots of things but for any of you circus clowns out there, there is always a point where your arms get tired, your focus wains, and you drop something. I'm over-sensitive, over-worked, and over-whelmed. You could knock me over with a slight breeze.
At least I'm happy. Bad things aren't happening which is usually what puts me in this state of mind. Good things are happening, just a lot of them, and all of them require my full attention, which at the end of a hard quarter, I don't actually have.
As my second winter quarter comes to a close I realize that this is the hardest part of school. Each year, this ten week period kicks my butt. The weather is crappy, the work load is heavy, and there's the mental space that comes from having to be smished between two quarters.
It doesn't help that I have an odd version of senioritis that has everything to do with studying abroad. It's hard to study for finals when you know in less then a month you'll be in Italy.
Honestly, this has been a weird school year in general. Recently I realized that I put too much pressure on myself to recreate the experiences of last year. I compared every aspect of this year to last year. And it didn't stand up, I'll be frank. Not because it was worse but because I was grading it on the wrong rubric. I looked at it with the eyes of a freshmen, wanting the newness, the excitement of freshmen year. But instead I came back to Seattle and found stale relationships, and I was disappointed. Academics weren't as exciting, parties weren't as crazy, and making friends wasn't as easy. And the jokes on me, because I realized all this right before I wrapped up my time in Seattle for this school year.
But next year I won't make the same mistake. Junior year will be fresh in that it won't be. I'll be acclimated to Seattle, I'll have my friends, I'll know what to expect in school, and I won't assume that any year in college could be compared to another. I didn't do it right this year, but actually, I don't mind because in the end I learned something important.
Expectations are expected to fail. So don't have expectations, have plans. Don't think, "oh this is how it should be, wah-wah, but it's not working out". Instead, think, "sure, last year was fine, but this year this is how it's gunna be". I waited this school year for things to be the way I wanted it to be. Next school year I'm going to dictate how my life is. Because I'm a fucking adult now, and I don't get served, this life is self-serve, bitches.
It's weird to think that I won't be in Seattle for the next six and a half months. Kind of crazy, especially given the fact that a couple Seattle-oriented things have to happen between then and now, while I'm gone. Like find a roommate or roommates and a place to live for next year. And I have to apply to the honors program for sociology. And I have to register for fall quarter classes. It's funny how things don't just magically stop when you are gone. Well, not exactly funny.
In the meantime I am walking along the razor's edge of sanity. I'm pretty good at juggling lots of things but for any of you circus clowns out there, there is always a point where your arms get tired, your focus wains, and you drop something. I'm over-sensitive, over-worked, and over-whelmed. You could knock me over with a slight breeze.
At least I'm happy. Bad things aren't happening which is usually what puts me in this state of mind. Good things are happening, just a lot of them, and all of them require my full attention, which at the end of a hard quarter, I don't actually have.
As my second winter quarter comes to a close I realize that this is the hardest part of school. Each year, this ten week period kicks my butt. The weather is crappy, the work load is heavy, and there's the mental space that comes from having to be smished between two quarters.
It doesn't help that I have an odd version of senioritis that has everything to do with studying abroad. It's hard to study for finals when you know in less then a month you'll be in Italy.
Honestly, this has been a weird school year in general. Recently I realized that I put too much pressure on myself to recreate the experiences of last year. I compared every aspect of this year to last year. And it didn't stand up, I'll be frank. Not because it was worse but because I was grading it on the wrong rubric. I looked at it with the eyes of a freshmen, wanting the newness, the excitement of freshmen year. But instead I came back to Seattle and found stale relationships, and I was disappointed. Academics weren't as exciting, parties weren't as crazy, and making friends wasn't as easy. And the jokes on me, because I realized all this right before I wrapped up my time in Seattle for this school year.
But next year I won't make the same mistake. Junior year will be fresh in that it won't be. I'll be acclimated to Seattle, I'll have my friends, I'll know what to expect in school, and I won't assume that any year in college could be compared to another. I didn't do it right this year, but actually, I don't mind because in the end I learned something important.
Expectations are expected to fail. So don't have expectations, have plans. Don't think, "oh this is how it should be, wah-wah, but it's not working out". Instead, think, "sure, last year was fine, but this year this is how it's gunna be". I waited this school year for things to be the way I wanted it to be. Next school year I'm going to dictate how my life is. Because I'm a fucking adult now, and I don't get served, this life is self-serve, bitches.
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