On the last day of 2013 I started the day with chocolate and coffee, a homage to my womanhood, my singlehood, and my very young adulthood. Then I took a shower, a long shower with lots of soap, rinse-rather-repeat, and the wielding of a razor to symbolize the washing away of the past and the freshness of the future. Then I began to clean my room and pack for a trip I will be taking very soon-- symbolizing the reorganization of my life this new year. And then I ate a salad to represent my commitment to healthy living, but I drenched it with salad dressing because I'm not that committed. I was getting off the phone with a friend, pandora playing in the background, thinking about what we were going to do tonight to celebrate when the next song came on: Semisonic's "Closing Time".
It is hard to not see symbolism in everything right around the new year. Sometimes it just feels like life is screaming at you and today I am actually listening. "Closing Time" seems like an appropriate year-end song.
You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here really just means Move on in this new year, don't stay in the same place.
I don't know what all the lyrics mean but the message is there. Or maybe it's not but today, on December 31, 2013 I can say there is.
Tomorrow I'll think about resolutions. Today I'll think about moving on. The last year has been actually excellent. I think about where I was last December and where I am this December and I am proud of myself for the distance I have come.
I'm still processing what it all means, but until then, I'm going to enjoy licking the salad dressing off my plate, representing my priority not to waste time, life, love, or calories.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Monday, December 16, 2013
Dead Birds Suck
Today was almost a great day. I went to breakfast with my mom, went Christmas shopping, watched TV, hung out at home.
And my mom is making fried chicken which has got to be one of her most underrated dishes.
But, all this great stuff aside, it was kind of shitty in that I watched a bird die today.
I was watching TV when I heard THE thump. We have all heard THE thump. The bird thump. And you run outside expecting to see one of two things: Dead bird or shocked but alive bird. The thing you don't expect is a dying bird. I got to see a bird die today.
I cried like I haven't cried in ages. I cried a lot. Which sucked because I went to MAC today and they did a really pretty full face make up on me. It's gone now. I cried a lot so that my whole face was wet. It was ugly. I can't really explain why I cried so hard. Other than like small cute fluffy dead bird obvious reasons.
I am also waiting to hear about grades which is stressful. My mom also broke a bowl that was pretty which is a bummer. I also watched Once Upon a Time which was unsurprisingly shocking and dramatic. And I have to go to work tomorrow.
All these small things concluded with the death of a fucking bird.
Eddie Izzard once said about birds: "Live in the sky, die in a window". That phrase has been on loop since the bird stopped breathing.
And my mom is making fried chicken which has got to be one of her most underrated dishes.
But, all this great stuff aside, it was kind of shitty in that I watched a bird die today.
I was watching TV when I heard THE thump. We have all heard THE thump. The bird thump. And you run outside expecting to see one of two things: Dead bird or shocked but alive bird. The thing you don't expect is a dying bird. I got to see a bird die today.
I cried like I haven't cried in ages. I cried a lot. Which sucked because I went to MAC today and they did a really pretty full face make up on me. It's gone now. I cried a lot so that my whole face was wet. It was ugly. I can't really explain why I cried so hard. Other than like small cute fluffy dead bird obvious reasons.
I am also waiting to hear about grades which is stressful. My mom also broke a bowl that was pretty which is a bummer. I also watched Once Upon a Time which was unsurprisingly shocking and dramatic. And I have to go to work tomorrow.
All these small things concluded with the death of a fucking bird.
Eddie Izzard once said about birds: "Live in the sky, die in a window". That phrase has been on loop since the bird stopped breathing.
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