I hate the ends of things. I recently watched the last episode of 3rd Rock From the Sun, one of my favorite childhood tv shows. It made me sad for two reasons. First, simply, it represents the ending of show-- one that was hilarious beyond belief. The second is more sentimental-- it reminded me of those times when I was younger and my parents would be watching 3rd Rock From the Sun when I was supposed to sleeping and sneak out and crawl into my parent's lap and watch with them. Those times are gone,and the memories leave a watermark impression on my heart and soul that make me melancholy.
It's the ending of things that makes me sad. The culmination of something that once was strong and vibrant and beautiful. Even the endings of Disney movies can leave me a little sad. Sure, Aladdin gets to be a prince and marry a princess, but he's no longer a badass rough and tumble guy who spends his time outsmarting city guards with his best friend. And yeah, Mulan gets to bring honor to her family and fall in love with Shang, but what about that rebellious streak she once had? Everyone ends up living happily ever after, and I'm thinking more about how in the beginning I related more to them.
Ends of friendships. Ends of relationships (ehem). Ends of school years. Ends of fun days. Ends of fun nights. Ends of seasons.
I like beginnings. I like January first. I like fresh haircuts. I like new nail polish. I like new crushes. New friends. New adventures.
New adventures. I don't like thinking about past adventures. Because they were once new adventures, but they've worn out, faded into the abyss and they leave me feeling nostalgic. New adventures. Like flower buds, ready to burst into bloom.
I'm 19. I'm a new adventure. And someday I hope when I live happily ever after, I won't have any reason to regret then end of my adventure.
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