I want to clarify one thing before I begin: I really don’t know jack shit about hip-hop. I know what I glean from the two top forty stations programmed into my car, and literally nothing else. That’s not true, every year I watch the MTV 40 Best Music Videos of the Year show. It is two hours of watching music videos that are generally really cool, and then watching them get roasted. Who wouldn’t love that? But besides THAT hip-hop is not something I really pay attention to. I know the choruses of all the summer hits and I hum along to the verses.
I have paid attention to the women artists in particular this year because they are less common and they really seem to have busted it out this year. So I decided, why not say something about them? I have pretty strong opinions about certain women hip-hop artists. So here they are.
The Good: Beyonce. I love her! She is such a bad-ass. So she has a new song called Run The World. It is a salute to feminism if there ever was one. But in an effort to not just sound like a feminist all the fucking time, I won’t talk about that. Beyonce has been consistent in her career for making good songs. She really is good. And beautiful, right? And maybe the best dancer ever. Like, really, you guys. Single Ladies is crazy good.
The Bad: Rihanna. I’m sorry, dear, but what the fuck. You used to be so cute. Then you were so beautiful. Now you are fucking scary. Ever since Disturbia, you have just gone into a crazy downward spiral. Get some therapy or something. So Chris Brown smacked you? You wrote a song about it. And another. And another… It’s time to move on. (Look, what a non-feminist response to have) Lady, you are sending me mixed messages—you like S&M AND want to be the only girl in the world. You want a rude boy to tie you up and light the house on fire because you like that it hurts (S&M gone wrong?). I just don’t know what is up with you these days. Maybe it’s just a phase. In an interview you said you’d be willing to fall in love if the man earned it. Are you earning it sweet-cheeks? It’s a two way street, dear. Yeah, there are some bastards out there, Chris Brown might be one of them, but you don’t think any man is deserving of your love? You gotta work on yourself dear.
The Guilty Pleasures: Nicki Minaj and Ke$ha. I can’t help it. They are just so great. I love these ladies. They keep it simple—they wanna party, get fucked up, be sluts, etc. They don’t worry about social agendas they just want to roll up to the parties and dance. They don’t wanna fall in love. They don’t want to get over a dude who broke their hearts. They just want to have fun. When they are playing on the radio reality melts away in a world where the night never ends, the men are always sexy, and hang-overs are non-existent. Who doesn’t love that idea?
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