Buy Me Flowers

I work in event services. It's such a rewarding job. The things I do and the people I work with are engaging and I leave the office everyday feeling like I did something important for people. Not all entry level positions are lucky enough to be like that.

There are also more trivial reasons to love my job, like a (seemingly) bottomless candy bowl and a coworker who likes to play Earth Wind and Fire from her desktop computer a few feet away from me.

Today I discovered another trivial reason to love my job. Floral arrangements. Today an event that our office has been working on happened and afterwards the client came into our office with a BEAUTIFUL (and pricey) floral arrangement left over from the event.

I sat at the front desk blushing like I had just won the Miss America title. I was giddy like a middle schooler on her first date. I melted into a pool of giggling female stereotypes.

Getting flowers is like being tickled. You can't really do it to yourself. Occasionally I do buy flowers for myself, but there is nothing, NOTHING, like getting handed a floral arrangement unexpectedly. Even if it is for your whole office and not just you.

I think it is a CRISIS that people don't receive flowers more often. I never give people flowers but I totally should. And everyone should buy me flowers.

I know my birthday is far off, so no one can say I am fishing for presents, but just imagine if my friends bought be a bouquet of flowers for my birthday. Depending on how many of my friends remembered my birthday, I could end up with dozens of bouquets of flowers.

I could scatter them around my apartment and feel like a famous actress after opening night of her next hit show.

I could light candles, pour myself a glass of red wine, and throw the petals all over my bed, like some sort of trollop.

Flowers are like instant fantasies. Suddenly I am caught in an imaginary version of my life, involving dark haired lovers with thick rimmed glasses and even thicker accents.

Suddenly I am wearing pink lipstick and kitten heels like Audrey Hepburn, listening to jazz while drawing on very thin, arched eyebrows.

Suddenly I am living in the country, wearing a bandanna in my long blonde hair, the radio on, waiting for my strapping husband to come home for dinner.

Suddenly I've got gentlemen callers at all times of the day and night, my silk robe slipping off my shoulder as I wave them away, smiling coyly.

Now someone go buy me some flowers.