Waking Up

Waking up in your arms she thought, I have never felt so comfortable.

It wasn't the blanket or the bed, but your body that made her feel at home.

Ten hours later she is in tears on the bed she woke up in, and you are holding her tight. The air doesn't fill her lungs all the way up, that is how tight you hold her.

Ten days later she is gone and you lie awake at night wondering what she's doing.

I know what she's doing. She is sleeping.

She has a dream and you are in it. The bed she lies in is not yours and she rolls from her back to her side, folding her body up against the nightmare.

You lie among red pillows and black sheets and she watches you break promises she wondered if you would keep when you made them.

There's no such thing as an honest man. And honest women are a dying breed.

She can feel herself dying as she lies in the bath. Drinks a beer. Smokes a cigarette. Bathes in the lies.

Her heart skips a beat while she's asleep. Pauses for one moment to catch her from falling.

She dreams of him. A new man with your eyes and your mouth and your promises.

He is lying on red pillows and black sheets and he is lying. She lies with him but the cigarette smoke in her lungs and the beer in her blood wake her unsteadily.

You are living and breathing without her and you are surprised by this.

She is living and breathing without you and she is not surprised.

I am living and breathing and I watch her body move. Her chest moves up and down while she sleeps.

I am living and breathing and choking as she cries.

She cries for weeks. And then she stops.

She stops breathing and her heart stops beating. And she falls.

You lie in your red and black bed and you dream of her. Her pale body is lying with you as you watch her sleeping. You try to wake her.

He comes and picks her up. You watch as he wakes her with a kiss.

She goes with him. He is holding her tight. So tight her lungs can't fill up all the way.

You wake up and you are lying in a different bed. A different woman by your side who thinks, I have never felt so comfortable.

It is not your bed but your body.

I watch you and the new woman living and breathing and I wonder if she believes the promises you make.

I wake up and you aren't there. But I'm there and he is there and he makes no promises. He breaks no promises. He lives and breathes and I watch him lie on my red pillows and black sheets.