I Guess You Had to be There...

Here are some quotes from college. Updates will ensue. (Initials used for anonymity.)

"And I was like *slurp slurp slurp*." - CM

"I was also a leader in my high schools cock eating club." - MC

"No swearing." - NUB
"No uptight bitches!" -duumone

"if you were a penguin I would buy you ice until we got to Antarctica." -KT

"Electricity is for muggles!!" - JK

(Reading milk bottle on October 3rd)"Use by October 1st.... Coollllleeeeggggeeee..." -BM

"It's like whatever." - JK

"Are you sure he's not just an asshole?" - AM

"I'm doing exercises to keep my form. If someones gunna rape me, they are gunna enjoy it." - MC

"You don't need an umbrella. You're in Seattle." - KT

(About alien Porno) "Take me to your hard on." - DR

(In reference to pictures of sea life) "It looks like Mickey mouse." - CM
"Anymore that look like Disney characters?" - DR

"Woah! I'm not supposed to be up here!" - BM

"You can slap my ho" - AM

(Reading Shakespeare)"If thou more murmur'st, I will rend an oak And peg thee in his knotty entrails till Thou hast howl'd away twelve winters." - duumone
"SWOON!!" - BM
"Uhhh, not really a swooning moment..." - duumone

"If your skin is bluish you are an Avatar. There is nothing wrong with yo.u" - BM

"I keep on top of my homework so in my free time I can actually have free time." - CM

"I Threw It On The Ground!!!" - DR

"Bitches be bitchin'." - DR

"Boys boys the wonderful fruit, the more you... Mmmm that might need some work." - BM

"Bieber bulimia." - AM

"You have a beautifully androgynous face." - Random woman

"I'm impressed. And a little bit frightened." - duumone

*Coughing* "it's just- too- juicy" - BM

(To roommate)"I LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE!" - duumone

"How weird would it be to date an octopus?" - AM
"He'd be really clingy." - BM

(Being one of the most intimidating professors)"I touched God last night. It was a good night for God." - CD

"It's when... you bake... gooey things... ITS THE OVEN!" - AM

"It is no secret that John Locke is considered one of the founding fathers of modern democrazy." - DS

"I wish I was a kangaroo so I could have a pouch to put my peanut butter in." - BM

"Just Kuwait a second!" - BM

"Drink your odwalla, you'll be fine." - CM

(Running into a wall)"PARKOUR!" - KT

"You dirty pirate hooker!" - DS
"She called me that yesterday don't take it personally." - BM

"What were we talking about? Oh yea-- what the hell?!" - AM

(About ring tone)"ALIENS! It's happening!" - BM

"What the fallopian tubes are you doing?!" - duumone
"What the uterus is going on?!" - BM

"Mandividual." - duumone

‎"That moment was filling enough." - DR

"I krump for Christ." - KT

‎"I'm judging you. I'm judging you RIGHT NOW." - DR

"Judgers be judgin'." - DR

"Cramming on crack." - BM

‎"You loud ass pieces of shit." - CM

"Less jellyfish, more CM." - DR

"I was more afraid of my balls popping out." - CT

"Muthafucka, Godzilla was a girl!" - S

"I think in my head. Where most people think." - DS

"Humans were not meant to solve problems with multiple variables." - DS
"We are single variable people." - AM

"I'm a dinosaur, that's what we do." - DS

"Chubacca writes poetry and snaps like a hipster." - DS

"Have you noticed that all the ugly people in the world host radio talk shows?" - DS

"You better swallow if you want to see me tomorrow." - DS

"Boys do what they want, men do what we want." - DS

"Goddamn marketing ploys get me every time!" - BM

"He's like Mietus, everything he touches turns to gold." - KT

"Poetry has revolutionized my existence. I have faith in the truths they speak." - DS

"I don't know where this is going, but it's gunna be good!" - DS

"This kid with Down syndrome stole my lighter and it's not even racist because it's true." - BM

"Parrots, if I ate them raw, would taste like eggs and blood." - CC

"We have a chef. Chef Dave. He drinks with us. He has three kids." - CC

"There is no purple on a rubix cube because that would be racist." - CC

"You had dibs on him. You practically peed on him." - BM

"So I threw it in the recycling! Not as catchy." - CM

"Lasers remove tattoos, but assholes are forever." -J

"He's like a male angular fish; he attaches to the female." - BM

"She's like herpes, you can't see her but she's there." - KT

"MY date with my knight and shining apron." - BM

"He done swagger the wrong way!" - KT

"Even brick walls have cracks sometimes." - BM
"Don't say that! Our dorm is made of bricks!" - DS

"Leadership skills?? Fuck that!" - BM

"Kiss my beautiful black ass!" - BM
"I feel like I should be the first to tell you, before you offend someone-- you are not black." - DS

"I'm a baleen whale, I'm filter feeding, leave me alone!" - BM

"I might have to take money from you." - CPM
"I don't have any." - DS
"Then I'll have to take your... dignity." - CPM
"I don't really have much of that either." - DS

"You are a glorious, majestic woman crab!" - KT